We had decided to get married. There was not a proposal or any formality about any of it. We lived together, had bank accounts together, etc and our anniversary fell on a Saturday. Those were the reasons we decided to get married. It felt like the next move to make. I was finishing up my last semester as an undergrad and was taking a couple of graduate courses. The work load was challenging but I loved every class my last semester. I had developed friendships but they were apart from my fiancé. He wasn’t one for books or study.
We both found other opportunities for work. He was working at a small privately owned restaurant that was fabulous and I went to be a purchasing analyst at a steel manufacturing company. It was a change for sure but its is where I discovered a strange obsession to create spreadsheets and macros. It was a refreshing change from dealing with the public. I continued to manage the psychotherapy research lab and was taking evening classes. My life was falling into place just like my influences had imagined. The strange thing is that when I was younger. I never had a desire to get married or have children. It was not something that was every really a dream of mine. It was rather an expectation. I was not one to live in the guidelines of the norm but for some reason I decided that the norm of marriage would work for me.
There were some bumps in the road during our engagement. Red flags that I refused to see. I wanted to make my family proud. We were getting married in our home town where our families were so I was planning a long distance wedding, going to school, working full time and managing a research lab. The wedding was simple. We decided not to have anyone stand up with us because we didn’t want to single anyone out or make them feel obligated to travel to Illinois. It was just easier to plan if there were less people involved. It was one of the least expensive weddings by far!!! I was given a hand stitched beautiful silk beaded gown from one of my co-workers. She had it custom made for her and then decided not to get married to that person. I had to get it altered to fit my smaller frame and that is it! I chose not to wear a veil and wore only jewelry. My mother was the wedding planner if you will. She reserved the chapel at their church and made all of the arrangements. Matthew was my music coordinator. He lived in Chicago so that was a challenge but I trusted everything that he wanted to do. Rehearsals were difficult for him to arrange. My oldest brother was the photographer and videographer. My sister was my florist. She made all of the flower arrangements. It was a complete family affair!
I finished up my finals and graduation. I did not attend graduation since there would be no one there to watch me receive the diploma. It meant so much to me to graduate but the pomp and circumstance is really not necessary. I honestly don’t even know where my diploma is now. We were married the day after Christmas so the timing was difficult for our friends that wanted to attend from Memphis. There were six that came up and one read a poem in the wedding that he wrote for us! The pastor surprised us during the wedding in that he asked everyone to stand up with us as we exchanged our vows. I was crying before I even started because I felt as if the room was hugging me.
Emotional Harmony and Wellness 